Oh the Anguish in Life...

I had a very frightful experience yesterday morning with a very ugly spider. I know it might seem a little over the top but I am terrified of spiders so this was very scary for me. The following is what I wrote to Ben on gmail chat while he was in class. At first I am venting about the spider just to the computer till eventually Ben comes online and writes back. It probably would have been entertaining to see me sitting in the middle of the floor in the living room with the laptop (that way I can notice better if any come towards me) constantly looking up at the kitchen door frame from the computer, then looking around me, back to the door frame, and back to the computer. It's a humorous read, everything my mind went through, and I thought everyone might enjoy it:

Ben are you there?

Please be there

I need help

There is a fat spider by the kitchen door

I need help calming down so I can kill it

It's HUGE!

I'm so scared

I don't want it to move
I can't stop watching it because then I wont know where it went to

I hate spiders

I hate spiders

I hate spiders
I hate spiders

why wont it just die

it's on the door frame

I'm afraid I wont kill it fast enough and it will fall
and crawl away super fast or worse crawl on me

why wont it go out side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how do I kill it?

why am I so scared?

why did i have to find it

do you think it will be there after I shower?

oh why doesn't the internet work where you are?

not crying or breathing as hard now

maybe in 20 mins I can kill it

I hope

I just have to move the rug without him moving,
then kill him with a shoe

but first check the shoe for any possible spiders

check all shoes by door for spiders

inspect kitchen for spiders

oh be smart put on shoes so i can stomp it
if it does fall to the ground

How many are there? Are there more?

already freaked out and checked body for any
as well as immediate area

do you think if I open the door it will go outside

yea I don't think so either

why do they have to like heat

felt tingle on back had to check it out, all clear nothing there

I've been watching it for a while now it hasn't moved
but it looks like it's gotten fatter, weird huh?

Take that back IT JUST MOVED FURTHER DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agh!

I swear it's a little bit bigger than a half dollar

It's so fat and huge

I don't think I can kill it

I have to

oh why is this happening now?

why why why

why couldn't it happen when you are here to take care of it

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT HAS A FRIEND!!!!!!!

Now Had

I just killed the friend

I am freaking out!

the friend was a littler bigger than a penny
and it was crawling on the floor so I put on a shoe and killed it

Yea for me!

the other one is so huge!!!!

I can't believe it's so big!
Why did it have to move so I can see it better?

I'm going to take a picture

[We leave the running text now to show you the pictures taken.]

[The first is of the dead spider curled up a bit. The second is the huge one still alive. FREAKY!!!]





[back to the running text now]

I'm going to die!

It's huge!

what can I do?

I'm scared it will crawl somewhere if I go take a shower.

It might find me again and in a way I don't want it to

oh I hate spiders

why why why why why why

[Ben comes online:]

Ben: lol

i'm sorry

did you kill it yet?

Catherine: hey you're here!

[In response to "Did you kill it yet?]:
nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben: you might want to kill it while it is still within reach

get a shoe

and have at it

Catherine: yea but it's HUGE!

it's freaking scary

Ben: I'm sorry sweetie

take a deep breath, and knock its brains out ;)

Catherine: oh it's so big

I put on shoes thinking I can do this, then I get close and see how huge it is and start freaking out

Ben: I'm sorry sweetie

I wish I was there to help

Catherine: me too

I think it knows I'm watching it

[I made a trip into the kitchen to brave killing it again.]

Ben: well babe, I'm sorry to say it, but you need to go kill the spider

it will be over in a few seconds

then you can be done with it

I'm with you in spirit

think of the alternative: you do nothing and it moves then you don't know where it is

[back from the kitchen]

Catherine: oh yea, easy
I was just in there to kill it

I moved the rug

I moved the trash can

I moved the shoes

and the friend I thought I killed came back to life!

Ben: oh no

did you kill it again?

Catherine: IT STARTED MOVING!

I killed it

Ben: good

Catherine: I know I just have to calm down

oh why couldn't this have been just the small one!

I can handle that

Ben: just think of the fun story you'll have :)

Catherine: oh what if it is a jumping spider

what if it jumps at me

Ben: it is not a jumping spider, don't worry

Catherine: I just went to try again and had that thought

how do you know?
it has ugly markings

Ben: put it out of its misery

just kill it

kill it

Catherine: put me out of mine

Ben: you can do it sweetie

I have trust in you

Catherine: I did it!

I did it!

I did it!

I'm freaking out majorly

Ben: yes

yes

yes

you da woman

Catherine: it stuck to the shoe

Ben: i owe you ice cream :)

haha

Catherine: then fell when I dropped the shoe

it looks pretty squished I have to go squish it more

Ben: k

go do that

I'm proud of you :)

Catherine: oh gross a leg fell off

Ben: lol

you got it good

Catherine: i'm so scared

Ben: i'm sorry sweetie

i hate to remind you, but you need to shower

Catherine: yea I'm going

after I inspect the bathroom

and tub and curtain

Ben: lol

love you sweetie; i'm really proud of you

Catherine: thanks i love you too

thanks for the help
;)

[The End]

This whole ordeal took 45min for me to get up the courage to kill the spider. I was terrified the whole time, even after it was dead, and have been on spider alert the rest of the day and this morning.